A little window into why I share a personal intention: I hope that you’re using this material within your Well Circle. I hope you find spaces to be seen and heard and that you take time to see others. I cannot, however, expect you all to be truly vulnerable unless I first show my vulnerability. This is why every month I open myself up and pour a little piece of my heart out to you all. Thank you for seeing me.

Let’s say you landed a coffee date with one of your most profound teachers. Would you prep for the meeting? What if you were you were about to meet your beloved for a date. Would you leave the stress of your day behind to be fully present with that person? What if you had an opportunity to have an open conversation with the Divine. What would you do to get ready?

The month of Elul is pushing us to answer these questions. It’s waking us up, asking us to spend this month getting ready for the holiest time of the year; it’s just one moon cycle away. The High Holidays are around the corner and this year I know I can’t just jump into Rosh Hashana without prepping for this massive forgiveness.

Elul is was designed to help us turn inward and begin to reckon with the moments when, in the past 12 moon cycles, we have missed the mark. I have missed the mark. I spoke badly about others this year. I overate and treated my body unkindly. I didn’t help when I was needed. I yelled at my loved ones. I told a lie. At moments, I forgot to be grateful for my life, and judged myself and others. These are just some of the things I’m willing to tell you, but of course, there’s more.

“I love how my Jewish practice gives me permission to “mess up.” I definitely slip from a spiritual path and dwell in the gloom, beyond the circle of my fullest light. And Judaism says to me, “That’s okay sometimes.”

Elul is a compassionate forgiving time. It is clearly spelled out in the actual letters that make up the name of the month: “I am the beloved, and the beloved is mine.” This acronym is saying that in this time our relationship to the Divine is a partnership, a marriage. The Divine, G-d, is here for me, and all the sacredenergy is asking of me is to do some committed work to introspection. Whatever I find in inside myself is perfectly okay. Divine, in fact.

I’m into cycles. I think you know that by now. The truth is, I’m obsessed with them, and committed to living a life that ebbs and flows, that has moments to cry and moments to laugh. During the last couple of months we overheated, destroyed temples, and then went on a roller coaster of love. There were a couple times I distinctly remember yelling at somebody last month. Ahead of me is a forgiveness cleanse, a Divine supercharge, and a spiritual new year. I have to prepare for this. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to plug into the speed of the seasons, cosmos, and the course that my ancestors have set of me.

This month, you can find me sitting. I’ll be doing it in the mornings. It will be my Elul practice. I will find a time to be quiet. I’m telling you now, so that I may better devote myself to this. I’m nervous for what this stillness will bring up; there are some cobwebs in the darker corners of my self.

Sarah's Elul Intention