A Jewish Perspective on Infertility and Wellness
By Rabbi Idit Solomon
Rabbi Idit Solomon is the founder and CEO of Hasidah,a non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about infertility in the Jewish community, connecting people to support, and reducing financial barriers to treatment. She earned her Master’s degree in Jewish Education and ordination from HUC-JIR in Los Angeles. She has previously worked as a business systems analyst, the VP of Jewish Education and Director of Jewish Community Relations at the Columbus Jewish Federation, and at the Ohio State University Hillel. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband and three daughters.
Did you know that apples, etrogs, pomegranates, fish, and items shaped like stars are all Jewish symbols of fertility? Why so many fertility symbols? Because Jewish tradition doesn’t take fertility for granted and recognizes the reality of infertility.
This first commandment in the Torah is to be fruitful and multiply. From the Ultimate Creator of the world, we were given the gift of creating and nurturing life. Fertility is a natural and holy part of the human experience and the parent-child relationship is also at the heart of our relationship with God. A midrash tells a story of when God asks the Israelites to provide a guarantor in order to receive the Torah. They offer up their forefathers and the prophets, but God only agreed to give the Israelites the Torah when they offer their children as guarantors. God finds our children, who represent our creative abilities and our hope for the future, as worthy guarantors. Life, creation and children are the center of Judaism.
Jewish tradition also understands when building a family doesn’t go as planned. The struggle to have a child is a recurring theme in the Torah, reflecting G-d’s power and one of the deepest human desires. Another midrash teaches that only three things are truly in G-d’s power – rain, resurrection, and childbirth. One of the most famous stories of human yearning is when Hannah, unable to have a child and mistreated by her husband’s other wife, prays to G-d to open her womb and give her a child. Her broken-hearted prayers for her child, pouring from her lips but without a sound, full of intention and hope, became the basis for all of traditional Jewish prayer.
The irony of the theme of infertility in the Torah is that almost everyone whose experience with infertility was noted, including Hannah, was comforted by G-d and eventually had a child. Through these stories we learn not only about G-d’s connection to fertility, we learn that infertility affects just about every aspect of life.
For Sarah, it strains her marriage and causes a rift with her husband and his handmaid. For Rebecca and Isaac, the Midrash teaches that they support each other. For Rachel, infertility wreaks havoc on her marriage, her relationship with her sister Leah, and ultimately takes her life. We can also include Tamar whose ability to have a child is withheld from her. When she takes matters into her own hands and has a child, she is seen as righteous.
Women’s roles have changed dramatically since biblical times. Some of the stigmas about infertility, however, still lingers and certainly the insensitivity, isolation, and pain remain. Today when most of the public reproductive conversations revolve around rights and freedoms, abortion and birth control, Judaism remains a pro-natal tradition with different priorities. The Jewish focus is on fertility, protecting the living and our ability to have children.
Politics aside, from the fertility of the earth to the fertility of our wombs, Judaism views the ability to create life as sacred. Fertility connects us to our past, our future, and the divine within and around us: respecting our fertility and supporting those facing infertility is imperative.
This belief inspired the creation of Hasidah. The word Hasidah is Hebrew for stork and its root is hesed (loving-kindness). Nothing could reflect a deeper loving-kindness for another than to help them face infertility with support and dignity.
Hasidah addresses the timeless needs that come with infertility: financial support for treatment (IVF), connections to resources, emotional and spiritual support, and education and awareness. For all of the effort the community spends on raising Jewish children, Hasidah is leading the charge to actually help create those children, and support people on their fertility journey.
Together we can use Jewish wisdom to empower women to speak out and seek fertility support, build awareness that fights stigma, and make communities more sensitive and inclusive for those working to build their families.
So the next time you eat apples and honey*, taste the latest version of pomegranate kombucha, or wave an etrog with your lulav, let these things remind you that in Judaism fertility is sacred. Infertility is real. And you are blessed to be in a tradition that respects and appreciates the ability to create and nurture life.
(*Check out Hasidah’s list of foods blessings for fertility)