Building a New Identity in Tammuz
Hannah Schlacter is a Moishe House resident and active lay leader within the Jewish Community of San Francisco. She has passionately built her career around problem-solving and social entrepreneurship, having recently founded Life Hacks for Women, while also consulting for Fortune 500 companies in Silicon Valley.
After graduating from college, I hit a six month slump. Suddenly, I was a young professional living in a yuppie-filled neighborhood in San Francisco with a whole new identity and community of friends, exploring all the city had to offer.
But behind the glow I exuded when calling San Francisco home, there was a cloud of unease and anxiety. My workouts became harder, plans to see friends became harder, and Monday mornings became harder, too. In all the light I found in San Francisco, I was overcome by darkness: the feeling of losing my identity.
My college student identity was built on social entrepreneurship and change agency. At its core, my identity was ignited by tikkun olam, tzedek, and gemiulut hasadim. In college, I met global leaders, traveled the world, and became a student Board of Director at Hillel International. My time was dedicated to causes that repaired the world and brought more justice, and my relationships with others were inspired by kindness and compassion. My identity had depth; it had meaning.
My new identity meant going on too many dating-app dates, being bored at work, and having too many new friends without any close ones. Darkness was born from the lack of depth in this new identity.
How Would I Respond To This Darkness In Light?
How would I respond to this darkness in light? How would I find meaning by reliving the Jewish values I still held close?
The Hebrew month of Tammuz teaches to see this darkness in light. In the summer heat, Israelites worshiped a Golden Calf, leading to Moses smashing the Tablets of the Ten Commandments. In the summer heat, the Romans breach Jerusalem’s walls, causing the destruction of the two Temples.
Finding My Center
Teshuva is the act of returning …finding repentance. This is the will of Jews to find and return to their center. To recalibrate their compass guiding them to righteousness. Like the Jews before me, I experienced grief and anxiety in my identity loss. I needed to find my center.
And so, in search of my center and Jewish values, I took two critical steps: I conducted a time management exercise and launched my passion project Life Hacks for Women.
TIME MANAGEMENT EXERCISE
I graphed how I spent my time outside of work: What buckets dominated most of my time?
I listed the core values that guide my life: Did my time buckets align to these values?
I graphed how I wanted to spend my time: Where was the discrepancy?
The time management exercise shed light on how my schedule is directly linked to my sense of control and feelings of wholeness. The more ownership I have over my time, the more centered I felt. Understanding also that I need activities that give me more meaning; Life Hacks empowers young women to find their own center through a wellness, personal, and professional lens of their life. Now, advised by close peers, I am in the process of writing a book, growing the community, and scaling the project.
Ten months after graduating college I lost myself. But I did the work to find myself, leading me to my Jewish values of tikkun olam, tzedek, and gemilut hasadim. In this journey, I experienced darkness in light and found a way to meaningfully help others.