Grief Work, by Natalie Diaz

This poem was submitted by Nomi Stone. Nomi is a poet and anthropologist living in New York. Her second collection of poems, Kill Class, is forthcoming in 2018 from Tupelo Press. You can find one of her recent poems here: Plume Poetry

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I have gazed the black flower blooming

her animal eye. Gacela oscura. Negra llorona.

Along the clayen banks I follow her-astonished,

gathering grief’s petals she lets fall like horns.

Why not now go toward the things I love?

Like Jacob’s angel, I touched the garnet of her wrist,

and she knew my name. And I knew hers—

it was Auxocromo, it was Cromóforo, it was Eliza.

It hurtled through me like honeyed-rum.

When the eyes and lips are touched with honey

what is seen and said will never be the same.

Eve took the apple in that ache-opened mouth,

on fire and in pieces, from the knife’s sharp edge.

In the photo her fist presses against the red-gold

geometry of her thigh. Black nylon, black garter,

unsolvable mysterium—I have to close my eyes to see.

Achilles chasing Hektor round the walls of Ilium

three times. How long must I circle

the high gate above her knees?

Again the gods put their large hands in me,

move me, break my heart like a clay jar of wine,

loosen a beast from some darklong depth—

my melancholy is hoofed. I, the terrible beautiful

Lampon, a shining devour-horse tethered

at the bronze manger of her collarbones.

I do my grief work with her body—labor

to make the emerald tigers in her hips leap,

lead them burning green

to drink from the violet jetting her.

We go where there is love, to the river,

on our knees beneath the sweet water.

I pull her under four times

until we are rivered. We are rearranged.

I wash the silk and silt of her from my hands—

now who I come to, I come clean to, I come good to.

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