Sarah's Intention: Cheshvan

Sarah Waxman

A little window into why I share a personal intention each month: I hope that you’re using this material within your Well Circle. I hope you find spaces to be seen and heard and that you take time to see others. I cannot, however, expect you all to be truly vulnerable unless I first show my vulnerability to you. That’s  why I open myself up and pour a little piece of my heart out to you all each month. Thank you for seeing me.

If you’ve been with us At The Well, you know very well that I have my “mud” just like everyone else. Like, really, really deep, dirty shit that has, in the past, held me back, and, to this day, trips me up.  I am an emotional eater.  I have a hard time with self care, I work a lot, and I’m currently recovering from a majorly difficult year full of injuries that left me feeling weak, over my comfortable weight, and in a fearful mentality. These shortcomings show up in my internal self-talk.

I’m not X enough for...  
Because I’m not X, therefore I don’t deserve….

I don’t think this kind of self-sabotaging inner dialogue is unique to me;  it's part of being human, and, perhaps, part of being a woman, at least based on what we’ve been taught to believe.  I falsely compare myself to others, become jealous, somehow convince myself of my less-than-worthiness, lose sense of my own strength, and then hold myself back.