A little window into why I share a personal intention each month: I hope that you’re using this material within your Well Circle. I hope you find spaces to be seen and heard and that you take time to see others. I cannot, however, expect you all to be truly vulnerable unless I first show my vulnerability to you. That’s why I open myself up and pour a little piece of my heart out to you all each month. Thank you for seeing me.

- Sarah Waxman, Founder of At The Well

Where do I even start? I’ve woken up from bad dreams every morning these days. Except when I come to consciousness, I realize fast it’s no dream. I’ve never needed my morning gratitude practice more than I do now. But, to be honest, sticking with it has been hard to do.

My dreams for my country did come true last month. In fact, the opposite became the reality. I feel in the dark, I feel scared, and I feel deeply sad. I’m legitimately concerned for the state of my country, and for the US Supreme Court’s future rulings about my body. I feel fear for my peers, whose lives have come under everyday threat. How did this happen? This is a very real bad dream.

To be totally honest, I’m also scared for my own light. I have a fire burning inside that I know I was destined to share. But how do I stoke it? How to I keep the coals hot? How do I turn my sparks to a blaze without burning my whole self down?

I, like many of us in the Tribe, have been raised to feel proud of our ancestors who struggled to both be Jewish and live free. I was raised to honor my grandparents and their generation, who sacrificed and suffered to preserve their identities and freedom.

Now, things are different. It’s no longer just a story, and freedom is no longer just a sweet thing to say I believe in. It’s no longer just rhetoric to proclaim, “I am a social justice Jew” before trotting off to brunch and a yoga class, taking it all for granted. This darkness is actually coming. The time has come to take my inheritance as a Jewish woman into my own hands. It’s so clearly time for me, in my own way, to be a Judith--to prepare myself, arm myself, and act as a warrior for the peace and justice I so deeply believe in.

God, is this a test? Will I pass? Would you actually destroy us? Haven’t we been down this path before?

I invite this community to wake the hell up with me. To look around, dream up solutions, and move swiftly towards what’s righteous. Let’s ready ourselves, in our complete wholeness, so we, the women of the world, are fully prepared for what awaits us. I promise you I’m changing my clothes, anointing myself, and saying my prayers. After this country has appointed a questionable leader to make decisions on our behalf, may I access strength to venture beyond the safety of city walls. When I see the smallest form of an -ism starting to smolder in front of me, may I have the courage to quench it. When I’m faced with the terrible news billowing out of the papers like black clouds, may I find the strength to look straight at it and charge in.

I cannot do this alone.

Are you with me?

Kislev: Setting Intentions