Moon Circling During A Pandemic
By Eva Orbuch
Eva Orbuch is a passionate justice seeker and organizer of beautiful trouble. Eva dedicates herself to community building in the Bay Area where she has lived her whole life, through music, women’s circles (both in and outside of At the Well), and more. She is a Moon Dancer (a women’s Mexican spiritual tradition) and Kohenet (Hebrew Priestess) in training. She loves to support and coach people in finding their authentic activism.
My Well Circle is one of the most beloved things in my life. Four years ago, when I felt a yearning to be part of an ongoing community of women and non-binary people who offer each other spiritual support, I put out the call to friends and people in my extended network. The call was answered, and our Circle formed. Despite a few ups and downs and changes in membership, the circle has overall felt like a consistent, grounding rock for so many of us. With an auspicious 13 members who meet every New Moon, facilitated by different voices and leadership styles each time, I have witnessed people grow and transform over the years. Together, we support one another through loss, rites of passage, and more. We have built a kind of deep trust and comfort that is rare to find.
Normally, we meet in person, someone’s living room, or a backyard garden. We share a potluck, check in on what’s going on for each of us that month, and surrender to the facilitation of that day’s leaders, as they take us through different exercises and themes according to the month. So when the pandemic hit in March of 2020, our circle was forced to adapt to virtual life. We got on Zoom, scheduled our meetings, and proceeded! Of course, we learned that virtual moon circling brings some challenges, like people feeling different degrees of comfort speaking openly and vulnerably while in their home environments and Zoom fatigue, and others.
Eva and her Circle meeting on Zoom.
While I miss our days of potlucks and looking into one another’s actual eyes, the Circle has also been so wonderful and alive, offering us opportunities to connect deeply in new ways. One of my favorite activities was when we worked with difficult, tense relationships in our lives. We practiced what we would say to that person in an empathetic (and taking responsibility for your part) way. Role-playing and offering feedback was something our group had never done before, and I was amazed at how well it still worked. Our Well Circle has been a source of consistent meaningful connection during the changes of 2020. We encourage others to use their Well Circle as a way to provide support during life's changes, this year and beyond.
Here are some tips and lessons learned from our Circles:
1. Grounding in Time
When many of us have lost our routines and self-care practices, as time seems to move by in a warped feeling and we may feel increasingly isolated, gathering at least monthly as a Well Circle has been a grounding and healing way for many of us to track time. We provide each other community, a sense of rhythm, and a space to be vulnerable and supported during these times.
“This is perhaps a microcosm for one of the most significant resources that Judaism offers us in general—a way to exist and experience meaning by honoring the cycles of our continual evolution upon arriving at each point in the year. Having already experienced five virtual Circles this year, I am amazed at how they can serve as a way to track where we have been, both individually and collectively.”
2. Communicating Outside of Circle
While our formal Rosh Chodesh circle is our primary space, we have also developed practices of communicating outside of the container of circle time. This has really allowed for a deepening of connection. One example is pairing people together in “buddies” for a given month. Two members will be paired together and contact one another at least once a month to check-in and offer support (either on a particular topic or open-ended). Secondly, we have a WhatsApp group where all circle members can communicate, share invitations, silliness, thoughts, and feelings. It is a very supportive space and makes me feel like the circle is with me all the time, rather than just once a month. While these small things don’t require a large time investment, they make a big difference. We also developed an optional “circle support time” where members meet up on Zoom to have more spacious, less structured checking in. This allows people to get to know one another in a different and more intimate way, without taking up all the time of a formal circle when there are usually other activities. Finally, we improvise and plan meaningful events as they come to keep up with each other’s lives. We surprised one of our members on her birthday by creating a video of us dancing and lip-syncing to her favorite songs.Then, we sent a healthy, delicious dinner to her home! Your circle can create rituals that are unique to its particular culture, but regardless, we recommend incorporating an option of communicating both inside and outside of the circle, if it feels right.
3. Adapting to the Group’s Needs
The one thing we can be certain of during this time is that we don’t know what is going to happen. We find that remaining adaptive, emergent, and resilient, is key. For example, our facilitators usually use the “Moon Manual” as a guide,, but also add on and change things. Especially since we have a diverse group of Jewish and non-Jewish members, the manuals are helpful to ground into the month’s theme as a core, while allowing space for dialogue and renewed practices. As someone strongly connected to my Jewish culture and spirituality, while also committed to strengthening interfaith relationships, it has been so beautiful to witness this group taking on Jewish wisdom and adapting it to their own individual understanding, regardless of background.
4. Lean into Embodiment
Even if virtual gathering has its benefits, digital overload can sometimes make us feel like we are just a floating head on a screen. Some of the best circles we’ve had included embodiment exercises, where we were guided through movement, sound, and more sensory experiences. At first, the self-consciousness might creep in. I’m rolling on the floor like a monkey, speaking in gibberish, wondering, “what am I doing?” But when I let that worry go, lean into the present moment, and focus on what feels good in me, the gratitude I feel for myself and my circle sisters/siblings who are in this with me fills my body and I feel free.
“Part of our embodiment practice also includes weaving in nature,, whether it was meeting under Nicole’s oak tree with Danielle’s summertime herb tea, Caitlin’s plant-identifying & harvesting mugwort, Kimberley’s epic tree climbing, or our tree/nature sit at Tam’s house. Even when we can’t be in person, our circle reminds us to pause and appreciate nature, our bodies, and the moon.”
Wishing you a peaceful fall!