Social Distancing? Create a Healing Space with a Virtual Well Circle
By Lilith Cohen
For the first time in ten years, I felt alone. After years of building incredible relationships, I found myself in Detroit away from my hometown of New York. I was lucky when my friends connected me with people they knew in Detroit, but with the sudden changes around the Covid-19 pandemic, all my plans with new friends were canceled and I was back to square one: lonely in a new city.
I thought about creating my own Well Circle but was daunted by the fact that I didn’t know anyone in Detroit. Instead, I decided to create a Virtual Well Circle, connecting with my friends all around the world - having no idea that just two months later many of us would be forced to work from home.
It became a restorative space for us to share, reflect, and support each other. For the first time since moving, I felt like I could take control, combat loneliness in a new city, and re-write my own narrative in the world. I no longer felt like I didn’t have the power to build relationships because I couldn’t see my friends face to face. After my first virtual Well Circle, I found myself with a big goofy smile stuck on my face. It was everything I needed and more!
This difficult time is a great opportunity to challenge ourselves to think outside the box and reach out to others digitally. We need these connections now more than ever, and if I can do it, so can you.
Here are a few simple tips to create and facilitate a virtual Well Circle.
1. Video is better for Well Circles than audio-only conference calls.
I’ve used Google hangouts and Zoom which both offer people the option to join in from their computers or phones. Just being able to see someone smile at you can bring a little joy to your day.
2. Try to create the same environment as you would for an in-person Well Circle.
I usually light a candle and encourage people to arrive on time so that we can start with a group welcome ritual. I also invite people to dress comfortably and bring a soothing hot beverage, some paper, and a pen. The cozier we are, the better we are at letting go and creating sacred space together.
3. Give people verbal cues for what they might be lacking in visual cues.
For example, saying something like “debarti” (meaning, “I have spoken”) when you finish speaking and collectively saying “shemanu" (meaning, “we hear you”) after someone says “debarti” can help them feel as though they have been heard.
4. Consider how the limitations of a virtual meetup might actually be creative opportunities.
Challenges are the best way for us to transform and grow. The more we stay curious about possibility the more likely we can imagine a new way that may take us farther than we expected to go.
5. Use rituals to help others ground in a virtual space.
Just like how in-person Well Circles have an opening ritual and a closing ritual, create rituals for your virtual meet up to help welcome everyone, get grounded, and create a meaningful container for time.
Tips for creating a new virtual Well Circle for the first time:
1. Keep the invite list tight.
Find 3-10 friends you’d love to do this with! As they say, “quality over quantity.” It is important to find a few people who are willing to commit to meeting monthly. Regular meetings help foster the growth of trust over time. The more trust we feel, the more sacred and healing a Well Circle can be.
It’s ok if you start with a smaller group. I started with three friends and grew the circle by one new member each month, which made it feel intimate but manageable.
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2. Plan it by the Moon.
Gather sometime close to the new moon each month to honor Rosh Chodesh, an ancient Jewish ritual of gathering and marking time. For women, and by women, it allows us time to renew, reflect, and set intentions to the themes of each month.
3. Worried about how to facilitate? We got you!
Download ATW’s free resources, such as our Moon Manuals with the themes of the month, teachings, conversation prompts, and activities.
As someone, who wasn’t raised Jewish, having this resource really helped me have enough confidence to facilitate Jewish learning.
Want to learn more?
Sign up today and we can help you get started as well as connect you with others who are feeling the call.