Birth During Covid-19
By Rabbi Denise Handlarski
This article was originally published on Jewishdoula.ca.
Denise is a certified Doula and a Rabbi. She serves the online community Secular Synagogue and helps people all over the world create Jewish-inspired birth plans! Find out more at: Jewishdoula.com, Secularsynagogue.com, Secular Synagogue on Facebook, @rabbidenise on IG and Twitter.
I know there are a lot of pregnant people out there who are really worried about giving birth during the pandemic. I want to say to those people that you are right to be concerned. And, still, you can do this. You’ll be ok. I am a rabbi and a doula, specializing in bringing Jewish spirituality and practice into the birth experience. For some, just focusing on getting that baby out is enough. If that’s you, feel free to stop reading right here a grab a virgin margarita. But if you think engaging with some spiritual practice might help, read on.
When I was giving birth (pre-pandemic), I found myself reaching out for Jewish music, poems, liturgy as a comfort and as a way to ground myself. Every hospital and birthing place right now comes with its own rules, but for the majority one can only bring along one support person. This might be a partner, a family member, or a doula. Some people even have to give birth alone. In many cases, your medical support team will be reduced during this time. So, you might be looking for company and guidance. Jewish sources can provide some of that! So much of birth prep is about forging a connection between mind and body. The following tips add a spiritual dimension so that you can prepare for the birth you want, and have the tools to keep focused and grounded no matter what happens in the moment. Wishing you a wonderful, meaningful, empowering birth experience!
Find a spiritual focal point
During labor/birth, people often choose a point to focus on. This could be something visual (a piece of art or an object of significance). It helps focus the mind, helps you get control of your breath, and anchors you as you move through the sensations of labor. For me, I chose birth art by the Jewish feminist artist Judy Chicago as my focal point (I printed out/photocopied some images in advance and had them in my birth bag). It let me concentrate on something outside myself and connected me with my tradition and the many women in my culture who have come before me.
Create a sheet of blessings, prayers, psalms, affirmations that are spiritually significant to you.
Part of what I offer my clients is sources for these blessings and affirmations, but you can collect these yourself as well. Traditional examples include Psalm 126, associated with birth due to the verse “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.” Psalm 118 which begins “Out of the narrow place I called upon God, who answered me in spaciousness” has been paraphrased in Yiddish and recast as a tkhine [prayer or devotion for Jewish women] for childbirth. I also chose affirmations like “I can do this; my body knows what to do.” You can do a little reading, find some blessings or affirmations that work for you, and have your partner/birthing coach practice saying some of them so that they can offer these to you when needed. You may wish to create signs or posters of some of them to hang up in the birthing room/space.
Find a song from your culture that you find beautiful and meaningful.
I used “The Whole World is a Narrow Bridge” or, in Hebrew, “Kol Ha’olam Kulo Gesher Tsar Me’od.” Have this easily accessible on your phone and the phone of your partner/birth coach. Perhaps create a playlist of several such songs.
Practice visualizations in pregnancy that you can use in labour.
These visualizations have to do with the cultural values you hope to instill in the child being born. There is a Jewish midrash (story) that babies learn Torah (bible) in the womb. Create a visualization around this or any other image.
Send love out.
One Jewish tradition I really love is to use the time when you are in labor to send blessings or thoughts of healing to others. It can be easy to focus on the sensations you’re experiencing, but it might help to focus outwards. In Judaism, when we extend such a blessing, we usually name the person and that person’s mother. Motherhood/parenthood is about becoming a life-long caregiver and so the practice begins during labor when you extend thoughts or prayers or healing vibes to someone else. Some pregnant people create a list of those who need healing to bring into their birth room. Especially now, this might be a powerful way of connecting with others outside you.
Remember the strength and power of the Jewish matriarchs, all of whose birth stories we know from traditional text. Think of the many matriarchs who all went through labor to bear not only their own children, but our people. You can do this.
When someone is pregnant we wish them “b’sha’ah tovah” meaning may the baby come at a good time. You might be feeling like this is not, in fact, a great time to be having a baby. But consider the hope new life provides when there is sickness and suffering. Every birth is a blessing, including yours. Every birthing person is a hero, especially now.
If you want help creating a Jewish-inspired birth plan, feel free to reach out. And remember, you can do this. Your body knows what to do.