Seeking Sheleimut: Spiritual Wholeness
Dvora is a Well Circle leader, and all around wellness enthusiast. She loves finding ways to bring together Judaism, spirituality, and wellness. She currently resides in NYC, works in corporate wellbeing as a Senior Client Success Manager at Headspace, and is a mikvah guide with Immerse NYC. All opinions are her own.
The Hebrew word sheleimut (שלימות) means perfection, completeness, integrity, and wholeness. But like most things in Judaism, there are several interpretations of sheleimut! In this moment, I’m talking about it in terms of inner spiritual wholeness.
So. What does it actually mean to be spiritually whole?
The book ‘Everyday Holiness’ says that to be on the path of spiritual wholeness is to be reaching, not in one place. It’s a reminder that the point is not to go through life in a constant state of bliss, it’s to do the work on oneself constantly striving towards the divine.
Sheleimut, like all Hebrew words, has a three-letter root that contains its essence and connects it to other words with the same root. One such word that shares its root with the word Sheleimut is the word Shelimah.
When someone is sick, the Jewish tradition is to wish them a refuah shleimah - meaning a complete healing. The idea is that it’s not just the physical injury or sickness we must heal from, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual side-effects, too.
For me, a journey that began with physical healing ultimately led to spiritual healing.
A few years ago, I fractured my skull and had a concussion for several months. My neurologist at the time suggested I begin meditating to help with my physical healing, but it didn’t go smoothly. Even though I had built many personal healthy habits after university, and was even working on building a career helping companies address the health of their employees, a personal meditation practice was something I had struggled to stick with.
So I read and listened to everything I could on mindfulness and the scientific benefits. Then on day six of my Headspace trial (a meditation app), I invested in a full membership. The push to physically heal finally helped me stick with a meditation practice (I loved it so much, I went on to work at Headspace itself!)
My physical healing journey eventually led me to an emotional and spiritual healing, too. As a part of this, I found myself looking into what Jewish wisdom has to say about Sheleimut.
One way to strive for Sheleimut is through working on the integration and coexistence of all our different parts.
Jewish wisdom teaches about the duality within each of us: the ‘yetzer hara’ and the ‘yetzer tov’ - our good and evil inclinations, and our connection to both the spiritual and material world . We all have parts of our lives that are darker and need healing. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the work I was doing was to integrate my yetzer hara and yetzer tov.
I recently chatted with my friend and psychologist, Amanda Britton LMHC, (RYT-500 at The Mind-Body Collective), about the idea of the shadow, a term used to refer to the things that drive our behaviors, but that we aren’t aware of. Shadow work involves acknowledging that we are all capable of the full spectrum of human emotion and human actions. Then, doing the work to integrate all our parts. Sounds a bit like seeking Sheleimut, yeah??
Jewish Wisdom and Psychology aligned
As a Jew on a renewed spiritual path who also has a degree and brain for science - the connections between Jewish Wisdom and Psychology is a blessing. And the more I heal, the more whole I feel. That includes acknowledging the many sides of myself and sitting with my emotions as they arise in the body. It’s about accepting and embracing the many sides of myself.
There are many methods, tools, and rituals for healing.
Many things have gone into my journey besides a meditation practice. Things like therapy, the mikvah (and reclaiming it as a spiritual practice from the narrow view sometimes taught in traditional day school settings), and starting a Well Circle. I found At The Well through my friend and fellow Well Circle leader, Rachel Briks. We spent most of last year building up our Well Circle - a group that helps me feel empowered, and who have been an incredible support system throughout my healing journey.
This work towards finding sheleimut is, in some ways, solo work. Only you can decide to take one step, then another, and another. For me, my Well Circle provides support and space to be seen wherever I am on this path.
Members of my Well Circle! From top left and across each row left to right: Jennifer Lapidow, Dvora Gautieri, Shayna Abramson, Shelly Sadon, Jennie Kraut, Dammara Hall, Rebecca Rose, Rachel Briks, Jordana Lebowitz
If you’re starting off on a journey of Sheleimut, you’ll need to find daily practices that work for you and make room for your internal work to breath.
Try meditating and focusing on the breath (10 minutes a day was all I needed to get going), journaling, seeing a therapist, walking in nature, and, if you’re ready and interested, the mikvah.
Do not rush this process. The old adage of one step forward, two steps back will often apply. Use your Well Circle as support to whatever extent you feel comfortable.
Wherever you are on this journey, it is constantly evolving. At times, it may feel like you are on your own. Remember, we are all on the path in some way. It is your journey to take, and one I know you can. Lean on each other, your Well Circles, and know you can always take a breath and begin again.
Planning your next Well Circle and want to talk about Sheleimut?
Some questions to help facilitate the conversation:
What would wholeness look like in your own life?
What would have to be different for you to feel whole?
What would a spiritual practice around sheleimut look like for you?
What parts would you have to invite into your sense of self to be whole?
Disclaimer: While she is very knowledgeable in this space, Dvora is not a meditation teacher or mental health professional. If you’re having suicidal thoughts or struggling with depression please seek out professional help.