Seeing the World Through a New Lens of Self-Love
By Rebecca Sigala
Rebecca Sigala is an internationally recognized boudoir photographer, currently living in Efrat, Israel. Her mission is to empower women to find their own self-love, expression, and healing through intimate photography. The artistic and intimate portraiture gives women the opportunity to see their beauty in a different light. This has proven to be an enormous milestone in many women’s personal journey towards self-love and acceptance. Rebecca currently runs an online Facebook community of over 3,000 women, has hosted workshops, and spoken in different countries about the importance of self-care, positive body image and connecting to our true selves. She has become an advocate for women in Israel and around the world. www.rebeccasigala.com
As a young, slightly awkward girl, with round cheeks, a big smile and a Jewish star displayed proudly around my neck, I never truly felt like I fit in. It may have begun when my classmate called me a "fat, Jewish pig" or when I was constantly teased at the bus stop each morning for my looks or the way I spoke or for just being me, or later when our mezuzah was shattered to pieces in the middle of the night. This all took place in the beautiful suburbs of Minneapolis, Minnesota with perfectly manicured lawns and neighborhood associations.
Just beneath the surface, I felt a level of hate for things and people who were different. Being so young and exposed to Anti-Semitism and bullying, left me feeling confused and broken. I thought I wasn't cool enough. I thought I was ugly and chubby. I would never be as stylish or as athletic or as attractive as my peers.
Shortly after my Bat-Mitzvah, I decided that I would show everyone just who I really was. I went on an extreme diet and exercised my tush off. Literally. I lost 20 pounds in just a couple of months at the age of 13. I remember so clearly the day that the same kid who had called me a fat, Jewish pig years before, told me that I was too thin - right to my face. This moment has been revolutionary for me, as I have reflected on it over the years. It has helped me come to the conclusion that my life is not for anyone else, and that I do not have to prove my worth to be a human who is deserving of love.
“It has helped me come to the conclusion that my life is not for anyone else, and that I do not have to prove my worth to be a human who is deserving of love.”
Between my childhood and this personal revolution were many years of brokenness and disconnection. Times that I wish I had a woman like myself now to guide me.
By the time I was 23, I found myself married with two beautiful children. While I was mature in many ways, I think that I was very disconnected from my true self. I didn't fully step into my role in life, perhaps because of my age, and new motherhood was a very confusing and sometimes, depressing time for me.
After the birth of my first daughter, I was already dabbling in professional photography with my husband. Photography has always been a light that shines for me, even in the darkest hours. It's a way to create and express myself. A way to see the beauty in the mundane and help others see it too.
Boudoir photography came into my life while I was learning new photography tools online, and I fell in love with the concept. It was the ultimate "dress up" for women - professional hair and makeup, a wardrobe stylist, a glamorous photoshoot. The opportunity to look and feel like a model for the day. It wasn't long before I coordinated an entire styled shoot, set up a Facebook page, and was photographing women all over the country and worldwide.
My very first paid boudoir client could barely look at the camera when I arrived at her home. She wasn't even sure if she'd be comfortable being photographed, let alone, in her underwear. There was something so natural for me about giving women the space to be vulnerable, in whatever way it was meaningful for them. Seeing and photographing women completely exposed, with little to no clothing, being brave and showing up for themselves, was always so beautiful and inspiring. It was never strange or awkward. I've never felt uncomfortable with the nudity aspect of my work, and I think that energy transfers to my clients.
When this woman received her pictures, she said, "Is this really me? I am womanly. I've never felt that way before."
“Is this really me? I am womanly. I’ve never felt that way before.”
I cried, she cried. Then I realized that boudoir was so much more than a fun makeover day. It was important and meaningful. It had the potential to change and even save lives. I knew I had found my calling.
For the past 7 years, the women who have asked me to photograph them have made a deep impact on my perspective on beauty, female empowerment, and self-care. I've met women all around the world, each with their own stories and their own obstacles. I've learned so much. I learned about the messed-up process it takes for a woman to get her divorce in Israel. I've learned about the emotional and physical impact of breast cancer. I've learned about countless mental illnesses that I had never even heard of before. I've learned about women's upbringings and how they shaped their body image and sexuality. I've learned about women's health, about motherhood, about menopause. I've learned about healthy relationships, and not so healthy ones.
Mostly I've learned that as women, we have a beautiful, common thread between us. Some may call it Divine, that spark that resides within all of us. For me, boudoir photography is about reclaiming that spark in ourselves that has always been there.
It is so incredible that our tradition views sexuality and womanhood as holy, unlike other traditional ways of thinking. The idea of reclaiming ourselves reminds me of the mikvah, a spiritual renewal that many Jewish women practice after every cycle of their period. In this way, renewal is very much a part of Jewish life. It is said that G-d is creating the world every moment, which gives us the opportunity to re-create and better ourselves as if today was the first day of our lives.
“It is said that G-d is creating the world every moment, which gives us the opportunity to re-create and better ourselves as if today was the first day of our lives.”
Boudoir photography has given me the gift of seeing the world through a new lens, and I am a more genuine and whole person today because of it. The more that I met and photographed women, the less judgment I had about others, and eventually, myself. I have realized that self-love was the one thing that could free me.
Some days I still wake up as that little girl, the one filled with self-doubt, the one who would write sad poetry and wonder why I don't have a place in the world. It's not true anymore though, and it actually never was. My career has helped shape the confident woman I am today because I see my purpose more clearly than ever. When I look back on my life, I'm so grateful for everything that I've gone through, and the compassion and strength it's given me. I am able to put that into my work and give others the opportunity to come on this wild journey with me.